


ineluctable

by birdcaged



Series: inevitability [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Forced Relationship, M/M, Mating Bond, Omega James T. Kirk, Pheromones, Scenting, Starfleet Academy, temporary one-sided unrequited love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2017-12-27 02:46:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdcaged/pseuds/birdcaged
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes Spock a moment to realize what he is being exposed to is omega pheromones. Which up to this moment, did not affect him as it did other species. Human alphas were especially prone. But Spock is half-human and his half-human side is whispering unbidden words of <em>mine</em> and <em>mate</em> and <em>take</em> in his mind</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Semi Reboot-verse. I don't follow the exact plotline as the movie. Had to shift things a bit to fit the plot I wanted. Not required~ but there's a backstory [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/964635/chapters/1891720). Sorta. That being said, obvious lines/references will occur from the first movie, so it goes without saying I didn't plot those bits.  
> tbh, 90% of things I write is for my own selfish whims and indulgences. So yikes~ I need more ABO 'verses in ST, so...I wrote more. This started to develop a mind of its own and demanded a plot more than smut. Oops.

The day, as it always does, starts out like any other. He teaches his classes, he grades papers (and again, wonders how half these students gained acceptance when they could not formulate a proper sentence), and lastly, at the end of the day, he checks his emails. Of course, the single red flag denoting importance with the subject title: READ ASAP takes precedence over the laundry of other emails. Captain Garrovick normally did not send him emails, he was a much more 'tactile, personal' sort of man. But Captain Garrovick was also a devoted colleague who had, along with Captain Pike, taken great interest in his bridge stimulation.

The email was very much garbled. As though the man had been in a hurry, or was extremely agitated about something. Spock deduces both, considering the unnecessary, excessive use of capitalization and exclamation points. By the end of the elaborated message Spock is left intrigued by the cadet whom is the source of Garrovick's ire, and admittedly now his because learning not only was this the third time Cadet James T. Kirk has taken the exam. Except this time he had the audacity to somehow implant a program to enable him to reset the conditions of the stimulation. It was the first ever conundrum he's experienced, because no matter how long he studies the evidence, he still remains baffled, as much as a Vulcan be, how such a thing was even possible without his program's defense systems not notifying him. It was disconcerting as equally was it was perplexing.

Naturally, the commander of cadets is notified of the infraction.  
  
At the mention of the aforementioned cadet’s name, Captain Pike lets out an unusual noise, between a laugh and a growl, it is hard to ascertain but the Captain looks amused and frustrated concurrently, but Spock is no expert in the fluctuating emotions of humans to be sure.  
  
“I’ll leave it up to you and the Admiral,” Pike eventually says, “and, if you want my personal recommendation, you should make Kirk retake the test and fail every single day until he graduates.”  
  
“You seem reluctant to penalize him,” Spock observes. “Academic dishonesty is a Starfleet Academy violation and grounds for dismissal."  
  
At the word, Pike looks up, astounded. “You’re quick to follow the book, Commander, but let me tell you, a public hearing will suffice as humiliation enough. If that doesn’t work, then we can discuss discharge.” His last words are a barely-concealed order.  
  
Interesting.

* * *

The hall fills up quickly with red, every cadet present for the impromptu hearing. While it was not completely unheard of; it was unusual for a meeting to be called without an explanation what the meeting was about. The amphitheater is buzzing with whispers, all speculating and gossiping of what this could be about. It is then when Spock spots him; unbeknownst to him then he is staring at the infamous James Kirk. At the moment, all Spock knows of the offender is what he read in his cadet file. James Tiberius Kirk. 25 earth human years of age. Son of the legendary George Kirk and engineer commander Winona Kirk, both posthumously awarded the Starfleet Medal of Honor. Command track. Impeccable academic record with scores that spoke volumes of the keen mind the cadet possessed. A reputation of disrespect and defiance towards authority. An impulsive, brash cadet, in the words of Captain Garrovick.  
  
The cadet is dressed in standard uniform red, his collar unbuttoned and his hair tousled, the indentations on his cheek giving away he had been asleep before the meeting was called. Following closely is another cadet, older and dark-haired, frowning and prodding the blond-haired cadet with a tricorder. Judging by the close proximity the cadets are standing, he deduces they are familiar with each other. Humans tended to be very particular about ' personal space' and only allowed close friends or mates to be near them. (Again this emphasizes why he will never fully understand a race that could forgo any sense of reasoning when it comes to their mating rituals yet outside of them, they were strict about maintaining public propriety).  
  
“Bones, what did I tell you?”  
  
“Kid, I doubt Command would call every single cadet here just to gawk at you. There’s a podium - not a good sign. The set up is just like a trial -”  
  
“Maybe the podium is there for my acceptance speech, Bones. After all, how often does Starfleet announce a commendation on top of the valedictorian award?”  
  
“If that were true, which it’s not, _the podium would be facing the audience_. If your head inflates any more, no ship in the entire armada will be able to withhold the size of your expanding ego -"

“Maybe that’s why they’re saving the best ship for me then too. So my enormous ego can fit through. I think my lady love is almost ready for her maiden voyage. Perfect timing as I gain my commission, isn’t it?”  
  
“You’re absolutely unbelievable.”

The cadet is blond with vivid blue eyes, the combination drawing the appreciative gazes of male and female species alike as he walks down the steps towards the front, reminding Spock that there is a certain universality of physical aesthetics that in exceptional instances transcends species. If Spock were fully human, he would be captivated as well. Thankfully, he is not. However, it is hard to overlook the strange fragrance Spock picks up as the cadet passes by.  
  
The room comes to attention when the academy council walks in. Admiral Barnett, the academy commandant, sits down and everyone follows, the hall eerily silent when moments before it had been brimming with noise.  
  
“James T. Kirk, step forward.”  
  
There’s a prolonged pause. Cadets’ heads swivel as they zone in on the same blond-haired cadet that Spock had been observing moments before.  
  
“Jim!” the dark-haired cadet beside him whispers urgently as he stands, “your pheromones are - "  
  
“Shuttup, Bones,” Jim hisses, and even with his enhanced auditory senses, Spock cannot make out what he says next. Within seconds, Cadet Kirk is leaning against the podium, face red as if the effort had exhausted him. There’s a sudden murmur, and Admiral Barnett continues.  
  
“An incident has occurred,” Admiral Barnett begins, and the murmurs immediately cease, “that concerns the entire student body. Academic immorality by one is an assault on us all. It will not be allowed to stand. Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuant to Regulation One-Seven point three of the Starfleet Code. Is there anything you care to say before we begin?”  
  
Flustered, Cadet Kirk answers, his tone calm and in control despite his perturbed appearance, “Yes sir, I do. I believe I have the right under that same code of conduct to face my accuser directly.”  
  
Cadet Kirk was not incorrect in his assertion and when Admiral Barnett looks at him, Spock stands up and Kirk follows the Admiral’s gaze and meets Spock’s dark eyes.  
  
Kirk then sputters, his eyes wide with an emotion Spock cannot decipher. But those vivid blue eyes somehow look more enticing directed at him. Where he had felt aggravation and perplexity, now he feels an unexplained urge to covet the cadet at the bottom of the steps. There is shifting and the rustle of cadets restlessly moving in their seats.

It takes Spock a moment to realize what he is being exposed to is omega pheromones. Which up to this moment did not affect him as it did other species. Human alphas were especially prone. But Spock is half-human and his half-human side is whispering unbidden words of _mine_ and _mate_ and _take_ in his mind. Considering the sheer number of alphas in the room, it is not hard to miss the vulnerability Kirk exhibits as he trembles and it brings forth an unwarranted burst of possessive rage from within him.  
  
“Jim -" Captain Pike stands up abruptly and makes his way over.  
  
But Kirk has already run out, leaving Spock strangely bereft.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **author's note** : incredibly sorry about the long wait. D: 2014/first half of 2015 was a shitastic year for me so writing took the backburner. 
> 
> This chapter is Jim's POV. Next chapter Spock's.

His alpha is a Vulcan. The universe clearly despised him. Dead parents. An abusive drunkard excuse for an Uncle, who had resented his existence and only kept Jim for the added convenience his parents' Starfleet pension provided him. An omega, which wasn't the end of the world and Jim knew he could, if he wanted, look into the new epigenetics reconstruction medicine technology. Bones had berated him when he found the holopamphlets littering his desk, telling him the program was highly dangerous and only had a seventy percent success rate. And now this.

Worse, now the entire student body knew what he was. He could still feel their heavy, lecherous stares on the back of his neck, could feel their vibrating lust directed towards him. Except for his mate, who looked at him impassively, who was the one responsible for the hearing to begin with. Fate, like biology, was a cruel and vicious entity.

Bracing himself for the unavoidable wrath, Jim manages to calm his breathing as Captain Pike comes closer to where Jim's leaning against the door leading to his office.

"Are you alright?" It was the first time he's heard trepidation in the Captain's voice.

"Uh, sort of," Jim admits warily, flushing. "Other than the fact that..."

He's secreting pheromones and every alpha in the amphitheater wanted to maul him. He knows he's fine with Pike; Pike is happy and settled with his own omega; whom he fondly calls his 'First' and once an alpha was mated, they could not be attracted to another. It was, in a strange away, a surefire way to avoid infidelity. Mother-nature was oh-so convenient that way.

Which is why he's even more terrified. He's lived his entire life alone, doing whatever he wanted; with whomever he wanted. And now he's reeling from the revelation his alpha was an unfeeling asshole, and he can't believe it. He feels nauseous at the very thought his freedom slipping away from him.

"It's okay, Jim, breathe son," Pike tells him, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder and it takes Jim awhile to realize he was practically short of hyperventilating, and how god awful embarrassing.

"So," Jim smiles weakly, "that didn't go as planned."

"Unfortunately not, and since it's apparent Commander Spock is your alpha, I can't very well have the trial continue," Pike says. "Your alpha invented the very stimulation you cheated on, I understand it's not the best way to start an alpha omega relationship -"

"No," Jim cries, "I don't want an alpha. Ever. I told Bones that too, and I'll do whatever it takes - "

"You're emotional," Pike cuts him off, eyes gentle but the hand on his shoulder is heavy. The physical command unwillingly makes Jim compliant, and he nods mutely. Pike may not be his alpha, but inwardly, he's already recognized the man as his superior and therefore can't help but feel compelled to be obedient.

"I'll talk to the Commander, see what we can do about making sure it doesn't affect your upcoming assignment, " Pike continues, and Jim winces. Starfleet Command did its best to accommodate mating bonds. Pike frowns when he sees the petulant expression on the omega's face and tells him sternly, "I can't have an unmated omega running around giving off pheromones. It's a danger to yourself, most importantly, and every perverse alpha on campus. It's a liability I cannot afford. The sooner you two are mated, the better."

"I understand, sir," Jim murmurs, his tongue lax. He can't argue his way out of this. This was the very definition of a no-win scenario. He can't avoid it, so he might as well give up selfish wants and deal with it. It seemed to be the theme of his life, dealing with whatever life threw at him.

"Jim," Pike says, and his face softens, "whatever you're afraid of; don't be. You're very lucky, actually. Spock is a distinguished Starfleet officer - "

"I'm sure he's great," Jim cuts the man off, voice hallow. Because yes, all he ever wanted in a mate was someone with impressive credentials.

"You'll still get your command one day, Jim. Spock isn't the type of alpha to keep you from the chair."

Not that he's even going to give him an opportunity to do so, Jim thinks vigorously. He's experienced an unexpected heat before, albeit no where this strong but.

"You're right," he fibs, knowing he has as a short window before his heat truly becomes unmanageable and he needs to get back quickly to his dorm if he's gonna - "I won't let you down, sir." He purposefully keeps that open-ended, Pike can interpret it as he will before he turns his heel and walks the opposite direction without waiting to be dismissed. Pike understands, thinking he's running to Spock.

He takes the shortcut back to the dorms. It's not really a shorter route, per say, just more private and convenient to get back undetected. He's taken it plenty of times with Gaila when they were too drunk and didn't want to risk security catching them. Not that Starfleet had a mandated curfew, but walking around drunk and disorderly was a very unbecoming of a Starfleet officer thing to do. His comm is still beeping insistently at him (had been since he ran out) and he pointedly had been ignoring it. Now he just turns the whole damn thing off all together.

It's merciful he doesn't spot anyone on his way. It's strangely empty and silent in the hallways leading up to his room that he figures majority of the cadets are still in the amphitheater speaking of the speckle they all had just witnessed. He starts ransacking his room the moment the door whooshes close behind him. Because, as slightly unethical as it may be, he may have maybe used Bones' medical key pass to steal a bunch of suppressants. (Alright so very unethical). The kind that omegas were given on starships to stop their heat if it came unexpectedly and they were in the middle of a mission planet side and didn't want to worry about getting raped by the locale natives sort-of-hypos. Yeah, it's really fucked up but it was a one of the many reasons omegas were denied starship posts for so long. Until science invented the perfect concoction to stop them. The risks were far greater than regular suppressants. Required a trained medical personnel to administer them, make sure the dosage was right.

So right about now he can already hear Bones' outrageous, onerous voice screaming his head off at him. Jim's not a complete idiot. He calculates his weight when he hypos himself (a first) and waits for the misery to subside. His PADD goes off then, and Jim jumps, wondering if whomever contacted him knew what he had just done.

Nope. It's a standard message from Starfleet saying he's on suspension indefinitely, signed Admiral Richard Barnett. Jim snorts, no surprise there. Barnett was the classic example of a power-hungry, prejudiced alpha, underneath that caliber of words of equality he sprouts at every Starfleet function.

He lies down for not more than twenty minutes when his door chimes at him. He ignores it, his body feeling too heavy to move. The chiming persists.

Eventually he manages to sit up, a bit woozy but still thankfully ambulatory enough to not trip over his own two feet in his haste to reach the keyboard by the door to grant the insistent person access.

Yup, it's definitely the last person he wants to see.

He must've said it out loud because he sees the slight tilt of a Vulcan eyebrow twitch. Emotionless his ass.

Leaning heavily against the door frame, standing so closely to the very person he tried in vain to avoid, he's cursing the Vulcan for smelling so damn good. He shakes his head and asks dumbly, "Uh, what're you doing here?"

"Given the circumstances, Captain Pike comm me earlier asking of your...status," is the stiff response he receives, "he was under the impression you were heading towards the teacher facilities, however you do not possess the proper security access codes..."

Right. "No offense, _Commander_ , but considering you've put me on _trial for cheating_ , and now you're insulting my intelligence by thinking I even _need_ an access code to get in that building, or any building on this campus," Jim says, and instantly regrets because clearly the drugs in his system are causing his normal filters to be non-existent. "Well, actually never mind, it's good you came. This can be over quickly so I'll just tell you now so there's no doubts: despite what biology dictates, I think it's safe to say we both want nothing to do with the other and please, don't feel obligated to...do whatever...Vulcans do in this situation." Inwardly he wonders how the Vulcan can remain so stiff and calm in front of him, so unlike any alpha he's met. He knows even with the suppressants, he's probably still a pheromonal mess. Then he remembers Vulcan biology doesn't possess the 3 tier hierarchy genetics like humans. Ah, of course. He's practically dying from want and Spock is stoic than ever.

"Cadet Kirk - "

It irks him to hear his title by the one person who's...okay, nevermind. He started it. Thankfully the meds have definitely kicked in or else they would be having an entirely different discussion. "Look, I'm sorry but not really sorry that I messed with your program. If it's any consolation, it was the most intricate coding I've seen the entire time I've been at the academy. I mean, jesus, the algorithms and aggregates in that thing took me longer than I expected to break without alerting your internal security systems - hey hey don't touch me - " He snaps when he feels the warm brush of the Vulcan's hand suddenly on his sleeve.

"You are shaking - "

"Well no shit -" He's literally just short-stopped his unexpected heat, he's sure the tremors are normal.

"You are displaying most erratic behavior, and given the sudden rash on your neck and hands, you are evidently experiencing a very strong allergic reaction to the chemicals you have injected yourself with," Spock tells him, and though he's right in front of him, Jim has to strain to hear what he says next.  Jim's suddenly very thankful Spock kept his hand on his forearm, because it helps break his fall.

* * *

_2.5 days later_

When he wakes up in Starfleet medical, he's painfully aware he's alive because he _aches_ everywhere _._ Secondly, the commodore of cadets is at his bedside, Captain Pike himself, looking very perturbed.

He licks his dry lips before croaking, "I know you're upset - "

"I _was_ upset, " Pike corrects him harshly, "about the program embellishing, and now the accidental overdose. Although Spock convinced me that wasn't your intention but trust me, attempted suicide by injecting yourself with illegally obtained substances is a great way to end your career before its begun. I know Doctor McCoy did not give them to you, but you very nearly ended his career too because Starfleet medical is always interested how their pharmaceutical compounds winded up with some twenty-five year old who has no doctor's agree. _That_ 's what I'm really upset about. You break the rules without a second regard to anyone else. You used another cadet to get access - " Jim winces, mournfully wondering if Gaila will ever talk to him again, "and now this. You're like a son to me, Jim. But make no mistake, if any cadet demonstrates to me they aren't worth being in command, I won't hesitate to remove them."

"You don't have..." Jim clears his throat from the dryness, "I'll gladly resign and tell Starfleet medical board or whomever what I did, just don't - "

Pike cuts him off, "I already took care of it. Don't worry about McCoy, right now I'm worried about you. Think of this as your 'intervention', Jim." Jim watches silently as Pike sits down before him. Jim catalogs this as another first he's probably accomplished as a cadet. Having the head of cadets personally visit you in the hospital.

"After I talked to Doctor McCoy, I was surprised. I had no idea either, Jim, and it doesn't make me think less of you. The thought never crossed my mind what the hell your status was, until yesterday. Your mother was the toughest engineer I've ever met and it wasn't until your father's death that I found out she was an omega. I never thought differently after finding out because I've witnessed your mother tear apart alphas on the bridge when they tried to pull some maneuver that just was not possible without blowing up the ship, and you know something? They all listened to her because they knew she knew her stuff, she knew the ship better than anyone on that starship. So, parading around hiding what you are because you're worried about how others will think of you, is literally bullshit. If history has taught us anything, it's that humans are a diverse bunch, and yes, we've faced prejudice. Humanity has started wars over the differences of people. Differing cultures, differing ideals, differing religions. Eventually we got over that pettiness and stopped killing each other over differences and united."

"However the hell you wish to sugarcoat it, there are certain privileges given to alphas and none to omegas. Never has there been an omega in charge of a starship, expect in situations where they were the First Officer and had to take temporary command," and yes Jim knows this might be a low blow, knowing Pike's Number One had at one point, in his absence, taken charge," and by the time Starfleet Command catches up, they're immediately replaced. How is that not the very definition of societal prejudice?"

"I never said we eradicated prejudice, Jim," Pike says evenly, "we've simply stopped killing each other over it. You know the history books: omegas enslaved until the early 21st century, no rights, treated strictly as property. Civil rights movement came along and changed a lot of that for the better, and yes, you're right. There's still the radicals who still believe we never should've permitted omegas into Starfleet. Same as those who oppose homogenetic relationships and don't recognize it as a proper mating bond. I certainly don't have to tell you we can never eradicate this narrow-mindedness. But, if you started seeing your own status as a disadvantage, aren't _you therefore given into those societal prejudices yourself?_ "

Jim knows this. Only he calls it self-loathing.

"So you're telling me to act like nothing's changed then. Like I haven't just exposed myself to the entire world."

"If you act like your status is a handicap, then other people most certainly will too."

Jim diverts his gaze, afraid of what he might see in Pike's expression when he asks, "So, hypothetically, that is you haven't decided I'm not command material, d'you think I can really make it to the chair, as an omega?"

"I'm not really sure why this has to be a question, but if it appeases you," Pike looks pleased, and inwardly Pike's relieved Jim _wants_ to, but he can't say that out loud, not wanting to influence Jim's decision, "Yes I do, and sadly, you'll have to prove yourself even moreso to do it. I think this should motivate you more than ever. You could be a legend, Jim. Don't let that go to your head though," Pike adds after his last sentence, chuckling.

"By the way, no hypothetical, if you use another cadet for your own selfish advantage, you'll be kicked out faster than anyone in history," Pike says seriously, standing up and clapping Jim on the back. "You need your rest and I've already taken up enough time before Doctor Bryson kicks me out for disturbing her patients. Oh, and talk to Spock, would you? For a half-Vulcan even, he's started to scare me with his excessive worrying."

"Wait, half-Vulcan?"

"Indeed, the only. You want to talk about prejudices, Jim, then talk to Spock about _his_ childhood."

Jim tiredly rubs his temples after Pike departs, glancing over at his bedside table and sees a holopad, thinking of where to begin _that_ conversation. He apparently said a lot more out loud than he thought as he thinks about the last words he said to Spock. Shit, Commander Spock, a half-human, half-Vulcan he discovers as he searches on the holopad. His mother was the famous Amanda fucking Grayson, the beta who single-handily reinvented xenolinguistics with her universal translator and later human ambassador representative on the Vulcan council. Which is a huge big deal because Vulcans, for being so damn logical, as Pike stated, could be strangely xenophobic when it came to other races on their planet. He drafts a short email, trying to keep it concise yet enough to convey 'hey sorry for being such a dick and telling you i want nothing to do with you' and had to delete extra garbage like, 'your mom is a badass, omg' and ends it with,

 

STARFLEET CORRESPONDENCE  
STARDATE 225809  
CADET KIRK, JAMES T. TO  
COMMANDER S'CHN T'GAI SPOCK , STARFLEET ACADEMY

So, we got off a really interesting, bad start. In my defense though, meeting you as I'm about to be crucified in front of the entire student body can never be a good start, who am I kidding. Can't change the past though so I'll just stop there. Thanks for making sure I didn't die from my own stupidity (Jim deletes this before sending).

I'm fine now. I hope you can forget the words I said last we spoke because one, I was heavily drugged and as I'm sure you know, humans never know what they're saying when they're under the influence.  Two, though I really hate to admit it, biology tells me you're my alpha. I'm slowly succumbing to the fact I should at least try to be friends with you and not pretend you don't exist. I'm sorry if this comes off terrible, but I'm not 100% invested in the whole permanent alpha/omega bonding because my relationship track record is nonexistent at best, shitty at worst.

And thirdly, lastly, I apologize for wrongly assuming you don't feel anything. I know I've had people assume things about me, and I recognize that it came off really, really negative and insensitive for writing you off and not giving you a chance to defend yourself...okay I'm rambling now.

If you're willing, I'd like to meet.

JTK

(He presses send before he can talk himself out of it).


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to thank everyone for the hits/bookmarks/kudos and feedback. ♥ Originally this started out as boredom and wanting to experiment with ABO 'verse and ST and never anticipated so many obviously wanted this as badly as I did xD
> 
> Next chapter will be a culmination of both POV's.

The days that follow Spock finds it frustratingly difficult to meditate. Clarity and acceptance are hard to find when his mind continues to wander over the events he had no control over. For the first time in his life Spock begins to feel the unbearable waves of need and desire crush him. It leaves him at a loss; admittedly because never did he anticipate he would be subjected to _this_. Thankfully he has not lost his sense of rationality and at least there is a small comfort in knowing his human affliction had not triggered—

 

The door of his quarters whooshes open unexpectedly and he senses her presence before she comes within his line of vision. He wishes to convey he is regretful for not answering her inquiring messages. He had turned off his comm and PADD a few hours ago, not wishing to be disturbed as he attempted to center himself.

 

Before he can voice this, Nyota cautiously moves to sit beside him, and he does not move away nor indicates she should not. Somehow the familiar presence of her soothes a part of him.

 

“I couldn’t get a hold of you on your communicator so I used the code you gave me,” she explains, her voice cracking at the end. The sharp pangs of her sorrow is evident. “I know what happened. I was so worried about you.”

 

Spock assesses her, so accustomed to her expressions he can easily read through her masked irritation.

 

“It’s not fair,” she huffs out in a bitter laugh, “out of the entire universe, it had to be _him_. I don’t get it, Spock, is mother nature trying to be intentionally cruel to you? To us? I’m sorry, I know you can't help it, and I know neither can he. It’s biology. It’s the foundation of our species; but it’s _not fair_. He’s not…he’s selfish, and cocky and thinks the rules don’t apply to him. You don’t deserve this.” She blinks at him with red eyes, her shoulders shaking, letting out a watery sigh, “I know you don’t need me crying right now, but I just came here to let you know I am in your corner, I am here for you.”

 

His concern for her overtakes his own contrite for a moment. Up until this very moment he never had witnessed her tears before, and the sight brings forth a swarm of guilt and discontentment. As off-putting as the feelings are, he is still grateful for her support. First and foremost, he considered Nyota his friend and never wanted to lose that. Like most humans, Nyota is more tactile in private and he is not surprised to find her reaching forward to hug him, her own way of offering comfort, her tears drying on the front of his uniform. 

 

“I’m not mad at you,” she whispers, pulling away, wiping at her eyes, as if reading his guilt. “I know you believed yourself to be immune given your hybrid status and now we both know the answer. I suppose in the back of my mind I always…feared this day.”

 

“As illogical as it is to apologize for something I cannot control,” Spock tells her gently, “I am regretful for the distress this has caused you.”

 

“Oh Spock,” Nyota murmurs quietly, “I’ll be fine, I promise. It’s you I’m worried about.”

 

Fine has variable definitions, he wants to say. But he knows, as humans often chide, this very moment is not the appropriate time. Nyota asks him, “Do you need anything?”

 

“I am unsure of the proper protocol,” Spock confesses to her, for all his research on biological texts were clinical and full of the mechanical aspects and little offered insight on the emotional connection. “From what you have informed me and what I have gathered, James Kirk is not your typical omega seeking a bond. Yet all the texts I read infer it is the omega’s natural imperative to seek one.”

 

The more he learned about James Tiberius Kirk outside of his academic credentials, the more he realized how complex the omega was. A cadet who defied authority yet was so brilliant to write such an intricate code that even for a half-Vulcan, let him confused how he did it. Though he cared very little for student gossip, it was obvious the omega had played the part of the type of student who barely passed, hardly attended class unless the instructor mandated attendance to pass. Everyone, except for the instructors who could attest the opposite from first-hand experience in grading Cadet Kirk's assignments, assumed he gained acceptance into the academy strictly on nepotism. It was completely unfounded. No one could gain entrance into the academy without first passing the preliminary exams, and Cadet Kirk had done so with exceedingly above average numbers, on the first try whereas most humans failed the first attempt and had to retake them.

 

“Right, well, of course Kirk masqueraded he wasn’t an omega,” Nyota comments, “probably because command track is dominated by alphas. A few betas, but it’s just the way of things I suppose. It’s not natural, that’s for sure. Look, Spock, Jim Kirk is…he’s complicated. But trust me, deep down, whether he wants to admit it to himself or not, omegas cannot deny the pull of their alpha. Don’t worry, he might try to pull off he's unaffected or doesn’t want to be your omega, but eventually, biology will overrule that. He can’t deny it and neither can you."

 

It seemed barbaric what Nyota was suggesting.

 

“I do not see…the appeal of attempting a relationship with someone who does not wish for one.”

 

“Then show him why he _should_ wish for one,” Nyota says, “you’re the alpha. He’ll listen to you. You just have to…I can’t explain it because I’ve never felt it for myself but _you’re his alpha_. It’s not just the physiological need to mate, there’s more to it. Even after you two…” she reddens and shifts her gaze, “you’ll always be drawn to each other. Like how you knew you needed to go to him in that moment. That’s the start of it. That intuitive ability of knowing your mate is in danger, or hurt, or needs you. You can be miles, light years apart, but you’ll always be able to feel each other.”

 

She smiles sadly, “That spiritual connection is already present. This is…normally a very good thing. It means you two are highly compatible for each other. Some bonded pairs don’t feel that until years after being mated. Some never do at all.”

 

He nods, his mind mulling over her words.

 

Sensing his distraction, she stands up, but not before giving him a light kiss on the cheek. They both know for the last time. He is admittedly saddened, for Nyota was everything he had thought he wanted in a mate: intellectual, diligent and zealous in her pursuit of her Starfleet career, unwavering and unafraid to go above and beyond her peers. All the traits he should still want, but she is correct in her earlier assertion.  _He can’t deny it and neither can you_.

 

Irrevocably he has already found he wants James Kirk for his own. He will not deny that pull, and already the omega has affected him in many ways Nyota never could. Clearly he is not as isolated to his human emotions as he once thought. Instead of the bitter resentment he initially felt, now he finds himself accepting. Wanting.

 

Unfortunately his feelings already appear to be one-sided.

 

The next morning when he wakes up and turns on his PADD for the first time in days. It beeps insistently at him, letting him know he has unread messages. He ignores them at first, knowing it is likely the standard Starfleet correspondences he always received on a daily basis.

 

Minutes later something tells him to look again, and he glances down and sees the name of the person who has been haunting his dreams appear as the sender in his inbox.


End file.
